An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
