butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize