these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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