I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
