no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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