We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
