I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
