I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize