C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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