Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
