STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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