These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm too high and old for this...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
