Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
