A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize