areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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