I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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