Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This toilet bowl is my home.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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