he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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