Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
