I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
