There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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