who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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