i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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