Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just puked most of my soul out..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
