I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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