Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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