so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize