Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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