i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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