She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
