WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
