i would punch a child for taco bell
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
