I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
