just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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