I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
