My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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