he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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