how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
