I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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