So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize