He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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