it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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