So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
