Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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