ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm having to shit out rocks
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
