After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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