im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
