the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
