your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
