Having a random hookup so left but love u
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
