32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
one might say we're banned from that church
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
