ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I love you. Go after that dick
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