What did we do last night that was yellow?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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