"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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