Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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