good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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