I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
