Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
