this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
