So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
