Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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